#pretend relationship fic

[smolvenger]

How To Fake Date A Spy Part Two

Jonathan Pine x fem! Reader Miniseries

Word Count: 6K

Series Summary: You have to deal with numerous men of Roper's business having a gross interest in you for more than small talk. Going to Roper for help, he offers an idea- pretending to be the date of his newest friend. A handsome sous-chef known as Thomas Quince. Little do you know yet, the man's real name is Jonathan Pine and he is on a mission to take Roper down...

Part One

Chapter Warnings: Reader being thirsty, but no smut (yet). Discussions of depression and suicidal intentions with the character of Elena with a note of hope and good mental health and comforting fluffy fix-it goodness. But if you or a loved one have legit intentions, please get help and tell someone, 988 is the American hotline number in addition to 911. Some angst at the end. Discussions of domestic abuse.

A/N: Shout out to @muddyorbsblr for hyping me up as I was writing this draft!!! It always motivates me !!! Thanks, Bestie!!! I hope you guys like it!

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over ) @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @muddyorbsblr

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Why the hell was this happening? Why the hell did you even agree to do this?

Just a few minutes before the cocktail party hosted by Roper. The first time you and Thomas would be seen as a couple in public. That is, a pretend couple. You have taken at least twelve anxiety trips to the restroom in the last two hours. You still felt like any minute you would shit yourself. You kept redoing bits of your makeup because your hand kept shaking. If there was a wrong step, a wrong move, you wondered if something would explode. If someone would either laugh at you or Roper would frown. Then again, this was The Worst Man In The World we were talking about. A frown would be the least of your worries if he wasn’t happy. And Thomas, what was going through his head? It was too long since you dated-really dated. And your heart was racing out of your chest.

You took another look in the mirror to make sure your cocktail dress was right. What would he even think? You wondered. He was probably repulsed by you- he was forced into this too! Now that Elena was your roommate, she was applying mascara next to you. But you could only stare blankly at your reflection. Overthinking and psyching yourself out as you scanned your appearance again.

“Hey Y/N, what's up?” she asked.

“I’m…I’m just…uh…nervous,” you replied. Nothing fake about that statement.

“Nervous? How come?” She began.

She looked around and then whispered. “Are you…are you in danger….did…”

“No, Roper didn’t threaten anything!“It’s just uh…I hope…I hope tonight just…goes okay,”

“Alright. Whatever you say. It’s just a cocktail party. Another party full of boring guests doing boring fancy things.”

“Well, Elena…today, uh, I gotta tell you something- uh-”

Then there it was. The fateful knock against the door. You jumped and let out a small shout of surprise. Elena looked at you with wide, scared eyes. You saw her hand shake with the mascara tube. But you held her other hand.

Then a soft, British voice was behind. You felt the teenage girl relax. You, however, did not.

“Y/N, I’m here. Ready when you are.”

Taking in a breath, you went to the door and opened up. Though you were delighted to see Thomas. The black eye and nose healed nicely. The bruises didn’t seem too obvious with his tanned skin. The sight of him was dazzling- a crisp blue suit that brought out how his eyes were like the spring sky. He looked down and smiled at you. You couldn’t speak at the sight of him. Excitement mixed with nervousness.

“Are you ready, Y/N?” he asked with a warm smile.

You looked back and saw that Elena tilted her head and squinted at him.

“Are you escorting us?” asked.

“Y/N is my date, but I’ll be glad to walk you over too,” he replied with a shrug.

You might have grown feathers and laid eggs before Elena's eyes. Her jaw fell to the floor. Then she looked at the two of you.

“Your date?!” she cried.

“Yeah….Thomas and I are dating!” you announced matter-of-factly. At least, you hoped it sounded matter-of-fact.

You put on a smile that you hoped wasn't too false looking- small and happy. You leaned in a little closer to him.

"Why....uh....congrats!" Elena replied.

"Yes...I wanted to tell you Elena, but..." you began

You felt your hands twitch and you hoped she wouldn’t notice. Then Thomas stepped forward.

"No, it's alright....come join us, Elena. You’re always welcome with us.”

As Elena walked out beside you two. Both of your clicking heels echoed in the hallway. Her dark hair contrasted with the white of her dress. As she got closer, you could hear the guests chatting. Her mother stepped up and opened an arm. She went up and got her mother’s hand and then walked to the party.

You walked beside Thomas, only giving the odd glance at him. You felt your heart pick up as you got closer. You felt fluttery inside. When Elena and her mother vanished into the party, Thomas leaned in towards you.

“Nervous?” he asked.

“Is water wet?” you replied dryly.

"Take my hand," he instructed.

He splayed out his hand before you- large and smooth. You reached yours, then hesitated before touching him.

“Your hand?" you repeated.

"Take my hand, Y/N. It will make it more believable,” he said.

With a deep breath, you took his hand. It still felt warm, warm from the sun that shone on his skin. His own large hand was soft on you again. With his free hand, he touched your chin, his thumb going to the corners of your mouth. It felt as intimate as a kiss on your thigh. You felt yourself take a breath so deep, you got a little dizzy. Then you went up to him. Suddenly, though there was a whole party of people, it felt like you two were the only ones on earth. Though you had more presentation of calm, his voice was doing nothing for your racing heart.

“Now…we have to smile. Just relax. It’ll be easier than you think,” he advised.

You unclenched your jaw at him. Under the graze of his thumb, you felt the corners of your lips twitch up.

“There…there it is,” he said, with a smile that matched yours.

Then use that…like method acting. Y/N you thought.

So then you both walked on and entered holding hands. It was another large group with cocktails in wide glasses and thin stems. Full of light laughter like wind chimes on a summer day. It was thick with every cologne and perfume you could name. There were bright flowers and green, leafy plants everywhere. Waiters in suits walked around serving drinks and hors devours. You felt Thomas squeeze your hand and you walked with a smile.

Just stay by him and hold his hand and smile. It had been too long- why didn't you notice what it was couples did? Your sister draped her arm around Roper's all the time. Caro would give kisses on Sandy's cheek and then his lips.

Yet when you entered, eyes went forward in greedy curiosity. You were recognized. And so was the new man-Danny’s savior. You saw their acknowledgment. The big eyes. The frozen smiles. Some noticed you and then immediately turned to their circle. Then those people turned heads. You couldn't hear a word but you knew they were talking about you.

But best of all were the men’s reactions. When your gross potential suitors turned to you, they saw your hand firmly in Thomas’s. And there were frowns on all of their faces. Then a nod when their eyes met Thomas's. He would nod back. The man who bested them. The man who beat them. Now, for once, you could be at a party of Roper’s and relax.

Well, not entirely. Elena was still with her family. And you made sure that you at least stayed by her side. You wouldn't leave her alone. The thought of what almost happened at her birthday party... made you want to be sick and disturbed you so much that it chilled your body and made you tense. So you kept an eye on her at the bare minimum. Though it seemed by now, she was sitting by Danny as he showed her his books.

"Wouldn't you like something to drink, darling?" Thomas asked, his voice putting a bit more weight on darling.

"I would love a drink" You nodded.

Both of you walked up to the bar. There was already a guy right by you. The guy from the last party who asked about your book- you could feel his green eyes on you and already smell the hair gel on his platinum blonde comb-over. You could see him get ready with a way to hit on you as he sat. But then his eyes turned up to see the intimidating Six Foot Two barricade to get to your panties. The guy shrunk into himself and then turned away promptly. You had to smirk. You knew he wanted to date you. But now it looked like the only date That Asshole would get tonight would be with his right hand.

"Could the lady have a martini, please?" Thomas asked the bartender. The old man nodded and handed you one. Thomas leaned there to watch the bartender make the drink.

Right as you turned, another familiar man from the other day swung by. Mr. Jacobson. He had been pretty persistent and determined last time. Though your body flinched as if ready for a fight, you made yourself still. Part of you didn’t shoo him away because you knew it was going to be entertaining to watch him try tonight.

You saw Thomas turning to watch you two.

"Hey there, Y/N, you look gorgeous again," Mr. Jacobson said, picking at a toothpick between his teeth with the sensual appeal of a patient at the dentist.

You opened your mouth to speak. To say something. A fruitless refusal. It was in your habit to. Then your fake boyfriend arrived. You felt Thomas’s arm reach across your shoulders. A protective half-hug. You could feel the muscles from how well fitted his suit was and you felt your breath flutter in your lungs. Looking up, Thomas gave the man an icy glare.

"I know she does."

The pure threat of it. If you had to be honest, the low growl in his voice…did something to you. You felt yourself clench your legs. Your breath was shallow and sharp You...liked it. Yes, it wasn't the most progressive thing to be a damsel in distress. But with this fine specimen in blue rescuing you, you were not going to complain.

Mr. Jacobson jumped and his face turned pale. He put his arms up.

"Oh, my bad! My bad! I thought she was...single, you know."

"No, she's not," Thomas said flatly. His glare continued right into the eyes of Mr. Jacobson.

“I am so sorry, man. So sorry, I swear…won’t happen! Won’t happen again!” he begged.

"It won't," Thomas replied firmly.

The guy fluttered away to the other end of the room. You looked up and smiled.

"Thank you, Thomas,"

“Y/N!” you heard Jed from across the room. Already in her light blue summery dress. The flowing skirt made her seem like a mermaid as she walked up. Then she widened her eyes at you.

You turned around and went over to give her a hug.

“You look lovely!” she said.

“Oh Jed, stop! You look gorgeous too!” you shook.

“Oh, don’t say that and…is that…is that Thomas!?” she asked.

You turned over. Thomas went up to her and shook her hand.

“Yes…” You turned to her. Trying to ignore how dry your mouth was with the phrase.

“Jed, Thomas, and I are dating now!” you announced. You followed it by sipping your martini.

Her jaw dropped, but she let a smile on her dazzling face and hugged you.

“Oh my god…that’s wonderful! Y/N! Oh, you should have told me the second it happened!”

"We wanted to be private...until we were certain we were on the same page," you lied through your teeth mid-hug.

Then she dropped to a frown and her eyes hardened. She let go of the hug and crossed her long arms.

“My sister is a sweetheart. And you will treat her well. You got it?”

You were surprised, but you took it.

“Yes, miss," Thomas replied.

“I will fight you if you do anything to hurt you,” she added.

“I understand…and I won’t do anything, Jed. I'll treat her well. Promise," he swore.

“Thank you…”

You sighed. Jed was right- he was decent. As dinner arrived, you both sat next to Elena and her parents. You were glad for her being a third wheel. She spoke to you and smiled. You even made jokes with each other. Both you and Thomas were aware of holding each other's hands whenever possible. But it didn't feel too different from just eating next to him anytime. He did flash you a smile and you found yourself smiling back. On instinct.

But…you couldn’t get this too complicated quickly. No, you read enough Romance novels to know where this kind of shit led up to. It wasn't right. You didn't like this...romance was in stories and fiction. Not in the real world. In the real world, where too many men, men like Roper, were just there to assert power and squash the women beneath them to prove a point. You couldn't risk that. Couldn't risk anything. Just enjoy a fleeting fantasy. A pretense. Like being an actor on the stage.

After dinner, he led you out to the balcony. There were a couple of other people out there smoking cigarettes and admiring the view of the city and the ocean at night. Then they began to walk off. You both were left alone. So you squared your voice.

"Thomas, promise me this thing. Don't get any emotions. Because I won't. Let's not get too attached to each other during this. The last thing I need is to actually believe our little game with Roper.”

He leaned over the balcony. A light breeze from the night drifted onto you both.

“What emotions should be involved?” he asked.

You felt yourself cross your arms. Your jaw hung open, but no words formed immediately.

“Um...Just....friendship I guess, nothing more," you answered.

He nodded with a small smile.

"If that is what makes you safe, then I won't mind," he assured you.

You put your forearms on the balcony. You looked out at the moonlight as its reflection still shimmered over the gentle rustling of the sea.

"You’re quite the gentleman," you acknowledged.

“I tried. I saw how uncomfortable they made you, Y/N. I feel sorry you have to go through that… You don’t deserve to feel unsafe," he said.

"Thank you....Thomas, Maybe I should return the favor…Is there anything I can help you with, Thomas?" you asked, turning to him.

He looked at you. Then he licked his lips and took in a breath, ready to say his boon.

"Not really, just this one thing..." he began.

“What is it?”

"If they're going to believe we're a couple...we have to know things about each other. That’s what couples do. They might test us. Especially when we’re alone. That's what couples do.”

You tilted your head.

"Have you been in relationships before?" you asked curiously.

He nodded.

"Married briefly, then we divorced. We were both young-too young to understand what marriage meant. And...there was a woman once but...it didn't work out," he answered.

You heard the wind whistle in your ear.

"Even with those- you learn things about each other. I could tell you my ex-wife liked to paint. Jed could tell you what Roper's favorite color is if you asked her," he pointed out. "You know...hobbies. Foods. Favorite colors. What are yours, Y/N?"

You blinked. Then opening your mouth, you began your answers. “Well, for one, I like to read. I bring books in my purses in case events get dull. Jed would tease me about it. I have her and our mom…but things are complicated right now...”

It felt like some icebreaker activity on the first day of school. But he smiled warmly, nodding. You described what you liked to do. Your favorite foods you couldn't resist. And the colors that you liked the most. Thomas relaxed to a smile and nodded.

"I'll keep that in mind," he replied.

You drummed your fingers on the balcony.

"Do you have hobbies, Thomas?" you asked.

He nodded.

"Yes. I like to read, too. I collect books," he answered. He stood up and put his hands in his pockets.

"Ooo, and your family?"

"Father died. Then my mum. Never had a real family. Just foster homes."

You looked down to the ground.

"Oh...I'm sorry..."

He then took out his hand. He touched your chin, lifting it gently to look at him. He only shrugged with a calm expression on his face.

"Don't be...I only got to have many families. I was with a family who spoke Arabic. Another spoke German. I learned their languages, too."

"Cool! Do you know a phrase you can teach me?" you asked.

He nodded. He looked around, then his eyes met yours again.

"Easily-here's a German one. Die Sterne sind heute Nacht hell."

"And that means..."

He removed a hand from his pocket and pointed at the sky.

"The stars are bright tonight..."

Both of you looked up-an expanse of stars glowed above you. They were so bright they glistened down. Their own light gave his skin a more silver glow to him. You saw he smiled and his shoulders relaxed. He looked beautiful, looking up, admiring the sky.

“Yes…they’re very pretty,” you said.

There was a knock on the glass door and you turned and saw Jed. She signaled to you that the guests were heading out and you had to say your goodbyes. You both flashed a "couple" smile and a brief, half "couple" hug. Especially with her eyes on the both of you. As you headed back inside, she turned to you.

“Well, first you had Danny, now you have Elena, and now Thomas! It’s like you hardly see me!” she teased.

“Oh, by all means- join us in our room, we could get a sleeping bag for you! And don’t pretend you don’t have your own man too.”

She smirked, then gave you a kiss on the side of her head. But as you looked back, Thomas was still admiring the sky.

The next morning, you woke up in your room to the sounds of birds. You listened to Elena snore in the bed next to you. She went on her stomach, and her dark hair splayed across the pillow. It was like the snore of a puppy and it was pretty cute, you had to admit.

She was resting. She was sleeping. She was alive-her inhales and exhales signaled by his body rising and falling softly.

When you went over to her counter, you took note of something you hadn't noticed- prescription bottles. Looking at them, you saw her counselor prescribed her anti-depressants yesterday. You smiled. It did look like she was going to have to take one in the morning. You'd have to remind her. Normally, you’d get water or coffee, but you made a promise not to leave her alone. You would honor it. Just in case she woke up. But as you sat by in the room, you turned your head to the window to look outside. Dear God, You were glad you looked.

Outside, you saw none other than your fake boyfriend, Thomas, running on the beach in dark shorts. No shoes. And no shirt.

You felt the corners of your lips tug up as if a smile was brewing. You felt your eyes glaze over his muscled abdominals- he was lean but you could count the six packs on his ripped stomach. His pectorals bounced with the force of his jogging. All of a sudden, you understood heterosexual men a lot more. He was delicious. His determined eyes shot forward like nothing on earth was going to stop him from getting to the other side of that beach. And that was alluring, to put it mildly. You could have squealed and pressed your face to the window like a fangirl, but stayed put. Savoring each inch of him. From his short hair to the trail of hair on his lower stomach leading you to the center of sin. His muscled arms with bulging biceps moved with each turn of his shoulder per step. You found yourself creeping to a corner. So he wouldn't see. So you could indulge yourself. Oogle him. Even lust after him. He was getting very sweaty and you could feel his breathing with how hard he ran. Then you would be blessed with imagining him taking a shower.

You were tempted for a second to wake up Elena so she could see him too and drool over him. But honestly, it went in a second because you could not take your eyes off of him.

“Holy shit” was the only phrase in your head as you watched him continue to run on. Even seeing how his sweat was hinted at by the glow of the rising sun. His trail grazed the ocean and the water splashed from his running. And his feet weren't the only thing starting to get damp.

You felt warm and tingly as he ran by. Your pussy was beginning to....feel things you hadn't felt in a long while. Then he was gone. You had a good look at his perfect, peachy behind and the back of his muscular thighs in the shorts and then he went on his way.

You swallowed. Pacing the floor, you shook your hands as if to shake the lust from your body. You were a lot more thrilled you had to be a pretend girlfriend to him. All the man on earth and it was him you got to hold hands and sit next to! Any other girl could have him. It was a miracle he didn't have a hundred lovers at this point- but he was yours! All yours!

No-NO! A more rational part of your brain yelled.

Yes, he's hot. But it's fake. Don't let your feelings get involved. He's a nice man. He’s got an amazing body. But he's still a man. Yes, he's hot, but it's fake, Y/N, you reminded yourself that morning.

It's fake, it's fake, it's fake.

That morning at breakfast, you could smell that Thomas had taken a shower. Elena stood by you when he greeted you. He used a soap scented with citrus. God, the fantasy of him taking a shower was screaming in your impulsive thoughts now. He went up to you and smiled. In Boyfriend ™ mode, he gave you a half-hug.

“How are you, darling?” he asked.

“I’m alright. Starving.”

“Then let’s get you something to eat then,” he said as the chef wheeled in omelets and toast for everybody.

You looked over around the table. Then a sight caught you that hit you like a brick.

Sandy and Caro had hired a nanny- a gorgeous young woman hired to look after Sady and Caro's two little boys. But Sandy sat next to the beautiful woman and smiled at her. Not in a way that felt appropriate.

“Why, don’t you look beautiful this morning!? Did you wake up like this?” he asked the lady.

“Oh…yes! Yes, I did,” she replied flirtatiously.

Wait a minute, you thought. How long has she been here? When you counted the weeks, you realized that there was a correlation between Sandy stopping his flirting with you when she first arrived. No coincidence. Your mind spiraled further.

The woman knew he was a married man. It was not stopping her.

Whipping your eyes to the side you saw Caro blink. Her face went pale. Then red. Then pale again. Their boys complained bout wanting pancakes and she would tell the chef to make some batter for them. But Caro didn't eat the rest of her food.

You felt suddenly sick. You gripped your fork in your hand.

“Is everything alright, Y/N?” Thomas asked, his jaw tight but his voice earnest.

“I…I, uh, we’ll talk later. Not right now,” you said.

Thomas was there, he slipped a hand to hold yours as you ate.

The next day, you took Elena to visit the church before getting some lunch somewhere. It was a blazing day and you were grateful for the coolness of the cathedral. A sanctuary in many ways. The heat. And for Elena. Both of you sat down. You saw her make the sign of the cross and half kneel before sitting at a pew. She was right- this was a safe place. And maybe if Roper was the devil, then he couldn't touch you here. Neither of you.

"How is therapy going?" you asked.

"It's...it's good. Very good. I never listened to someone...as kind as her...I never felt so...so safe. No guards. No Papi. Nothing. She told me all sorts of things. I cry almost the whole time. But she…she listens to me. She believes me. She tells me every feeling and part of life is only temporary and the bad feelings and bad parts eventually go away…"

"That's good. I'm glad. And the apartment search? Have you picked a city?"

"I'd like to live here. It's not too far but far enough. I'm looking at applications...And you- how are you and Thomas?"

"We're...we're good, thank you."

"Just good? How did you two meet?" she asked.

"Well...he rescued Danny. Roper brought him to recover. Got to talk to him a lot. Then he asked me out." So far, so good. You just prayed he would say the same if someone asked him.

"Does he kiss you?"

"Yes," you lied.

"I don't see it. I see your sister kiss Roper all the time."

"Thomas...it's the British in him. Stiff upper lip. He's not the PDA type outside of hands and hugging. That might be pushing it....he kissed me the other night under the stars at the party." you added with a smile. Your memory flashed to Thomas staring up at the sky.

"Huh...nice...but Y/N...I’ve been scared..."

She blinked.

"Will Roper...catch me? Will he...kill me? He's not beneath it. I know he is."

"Why would Roper want to kill the daughter of his lawyer? He'd turn his own ally against him?"

Her jaw tightened.

"He'll see...that I'm not happy...he knows I know the truth about him…"

“Then why hasn’t he done it yet?” you asked.

“I…I don’t know…but I want to get out now!"

"Then..." you turned around.

"Then that means, if you're not happy draining his wealth, then we'll get out of here. Just bear it-be patient, Elena. We have to find you an apartment first...and then we go through the application process."

Her eyes shined.

"Anywhere is better than at Roper''s."

"Okay...we'll take some time here. You can go to the confessional if you want. Whenever you're ready...let's find a place that's leasing. Ask them some questions. See what you might like.”

Elena nodded. After a bit, you saw her go off and have a chat with the other people around the cathedral. Old women kissing their cross necklaces. Tourists taking photos on their phones. Funny...that was the same pregnant tourist she talked to on the first day! Maybe a pregnant Catholic tourist. She went back to you and you gave her a smile as you both stood up and walked down the halls to the door.

You commented "One thing to remember about yourself Elena- you're a good person. You make friends with everyone- no wonder that lady keeps coming back to you! People like you!"

She sighed and her shoulders sagged.

“What is it?”

"Y/N…I feel sometimes I’m…I’m yelling for help to get out, but at my parents, at Roper’s…it’s like no one can hear me. I should be happy. But I’m not…I'm just...just a whining, weak little rich girl..."

Tears were in the ducts of her eyes.

"No, Elena. Don’t discredit yourself. You are going through a hard time. Something happened to you to make you think there was no getting better. And that poor girl may think she has no other escape...but there is...there always is…and you are not alone...”

You turned to her, gripping her shoulders.

“Deaths’ a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You have to remember that. Your problems are real…so are mine! But they are temporary!”

You swallowed, your voice broke with your words yet you spoke on. But you saw Eelena smile despite her sobs.

“You’re already seeking help. And getting therapy and talking. And we’re getting you a new place. Even if it takes a while, you’re going to get out of Roper’s grasp and never look back, and never have to live off of blood money again!! Neither of us will!"

You were crying too.

"I promise you. We will get you to escape. We'll find something- I will do whatever it takes. That little rich girl isn't whiny or weak...she's a brave young woman who looked at death right in its eye and when she was going to cross….she chose life instead. She did the right thing. She's a hero who saved herself and she deserves to be happy."

Crying, she hugged you deeply.

“Oh, Y/N! Thank you! T-thank you-u-u,” she replied, her own voice breaking with tears. But it felt nice. Freeing. Crying released the tension between the two of you. “You’re a strong woman, Elena. I’m proud of you-just for living. Just for surviving.”

After lunch, both of you toured apartments around. Elena lit up and smiled with each bare corner and wall you both saw. As you returned, it was a lazy evening. You were enjoying your reading while lounging at the pool. You saw Thomas walk around and saw Elena chatting with him. Part of you was tempted to be jealous or concerned. But it was alright. There seemed nothing inappropriate between them. Let her make another friend. But Caro only sat by the edge dipping her bare feet in the water. Her face was despondent. Staring at nothing.

There was a dinner the next day. It was no party (Corky was grateful- guests were a lot to keep track of). But it was nice as always. Nice with lobsters for everyone and large glasses of wine for each person. You saw Corky was already on his third one as he dug into his crab cakes and spuds. You had to grin. At least he was off your back when he had a few.

But Jonathan was handsome as ever. In just a dark suit and white shirt, he still appeared like a Greek god in the flesh. Whenever he smiled at you, it was like you had swallowed a bird and it was flying around in your stomach.

"Is there any...dessert you'd like to split?" he'd ask.

"Yes, uhm...how about...uh- a slice of cake- sweetie," you said, adding emphasis on the last two words should anyone hear.

"Cake sounds marvelous, my dear," he said, feeling yourself tingle at the words. Enjoying the fakeness while it lasted.

Elena looked at you and gave a smile over her chicken as she continued to eat.

Yes- eat. Drink water. Sleep. Live, Elena, live, I'll get you out. You’re going to live. You’re going to be happy with your life, I promise...

"Oh, Thomas! One would think you were a nun and a eunuch!" Roper teased.

You shot up. You made a point by leaning closer and holding Thomas’s hand.

“Roper, really…” you said. But you were interrupted.

"Go on, Y/N is as sweet as that dessert, why don't you give her a little kiss on the cheek..."

You looked down, an embarrassed laugh coming out of you. Thomas opened his mouth to speak, but Roper pressed further. He was testing you both and he knew it. Like you were both his playthings.

"C'mon! Just a peck, Loverboy!” Roper pressed.

You glanced at him and he at you.

“Would you be okay if I kissed you, just on the cheek?” Thomas asked.

“Uh, yes. Sure.”

He leaned in close. You could smell the food on his breath and feel warm air from his nostrils, from his breathing. Then he brought his lips to your cheek. They were soft. Gentle. Like a drizzle in April. You felt your whole body get hot. The fact you were kissed in such a spot. It was as chaste as chaste could be. Yet you could have melted from how tender his lips felt against the skin of your cheek. Then he retreated.

Roper smiled and lifted his glass, taking a sip of his chardonnay.

It then struck you. Sandy and the babysitter had been gone. Too long. Suspiciously long. Then, from the hallway, you heard steps. And laughter- both deep masculine and bright feminine voices. The nanny returned first. The nanny was blushing, but smiling as she returned. Then a few minutes later, Sandy walked returned. You saw his shirt looked disshelved and there was a swagger to his steps.

The asshole wasn’t even subtle or secret about it.

Caro looked devastated. Her face was white. She was shaking. Everyone turned their faces away and kept talking as if nothing happened. Even if Caro looked like she was going to break in a hundred bits. You could tell it was everything in her not to cry in front of her boys.

“Well, I hope everyone has room for dessert. Hear the cake’s magnificent! A chef Ludesma signature!” Sandy announced with a flourish of his voice. That stupid asshole. Caro was devoted to him and she loved him. She did everything right- gorgeous socialite mom who gave Sandy two sons to take fishing and to sports games to be more copies of their father. She always got her hair and nails done and her clothes always looked in place. She was friendly and polite to everyone and you never heard of her capable of hurting a fly. Caro never stepped a toe out of line and looked away when men hit on her. And that bastard cheated on her anyway.

She did everything right and she was the one crying. He was having an affair, and he was smiling.

You had had enough. You got right out of your chair. Thomas looked up at you, but his face remained neutral.

You went up to Sandy before your self-control could get you. You took Sandy and looked him in the eye. He went up, wiping his mouth with his napkin- you didn’t see it closely but you knew the nanny wore pink lipstick. Sandy looked up at you with that stupid, shit-eating grin.

"Y/N, how are-"

You slapped him hard before he could finish his sentence. The crowd gasped and chairs squeaked as people got up. Sandy immediately got up, trying to let his tallness and his masculinity scare you away. But you did not back down.

“Y/N, what was the point of-”

Before he could finish that, you gave him a kick in the groin too. He groaned and leaned over in pain, then you grabbed his shirt.

"You stop fucking that babysitter, or I WILL use one of the wine glasses and break it and cut your balls off with it, do you understand?" you raged.

His eyes went wide and he gritted his teeth. You saw his fists curled as if ready to punch you. You took a step back but didn’t stop glaring his eyes.

“Caro loves you and this is how you repay her, you prick?! She doesn’t deserve you. You’re lucky she hasn’t stabbed you!” you continued.

“You little bitch!” Sandy cursed.

But the party already ran up to you. People held both Sandy and you back.

Roper stood up. He went over to Sandy and got him, restraining him from lunging. You felt Jed and Thomas get up and get you, pulling you back. Then you shot your eyes into the nanny to give her a death glare. You would have slapped her too if it wasn't for Jed holding you back.

“! You’re as bad as he is! You KNEW he was married, and it didn’t stop you, you little-”

Jed pulled you away. And you gritted your teeth as the nanny stared horrified, frozen in her seat.

Sandy meanwhile was pointing a meaty, sausage-like finger in your direction.

"Did you see what she did!? She attacked me!” he cried.

"Now, Sandy, don't panic...it's just a scuffle. I don't see a mark on your cheek. Not a large one, anyway." Roper began.

He glared at you. His voice steeled with more venom than you could imagine.

"We know the lowest brothels in Munich and we'll sell you straight to them this minute !" he threatened.

You felt your jaw clench. Terror gripped you and you couldn't move, couldn't think.

“No! Please! Please don’t!” Jed begged, leaning forward.

Then Thomas stepped forward. He replaced Jed's arm around you and then leaned out a hand in peace. Jed ran forward to beg Roper and Sandy not to sell you off as punishment. Could they...could they do that...oh no...what on earth had you done!?!

Thomas however, was still quiet. But he was strong. You found yourself wanting to nuzzle into his shirt. You could smell his cologne subtly applied. He was again...so warm and soft. And safe. He then began speaking with such authority, anyone had to listen.

"Please...everyone...let's not fret ourselves. Sandy has done wrong, and he should acknowledge how much this hurt his wife. Don’t be upset at Y/N, either. She’s fiercely devoted to her friends, especially the women here. She was trying to protect Caro," he reasoned.

He looked down at you. His gaze softened and you felt yourself relax a little near him. His arm enclasped you in an embrace. Youcould feel his pulse in his body. You hugged him back and swallowed hard.

Roper furrowed his brow. He then took a step forward and spoke to your pretend boyfriend giving you a very real defense.

"If she was my woman...she would be off to Germany by now. But she's not. Thomas, you have to learn to control your woman. I do so with Jed. Sandy does it with Caro. Now it’s your turn. Take her to your quarters. Give her a dressing down. Or we will have to do it for you,” threatened Roper.

You felt your heart race inside your ears. This was some real 19th-century bullshit Roper was pulling out of his ass. Would that be…be possible? Now even Jed looked scared. So very scared. And she stopped trying to beg him. Oh god, now it was going to happen to you. Elena and her parents were silent and you saw the teenage girl trembling. She took a step forward out of her seat, but then Roper put an arm up to stop her.

Thomas then put his hand around your arm.

“Here…I will take her to my room and I will dress her down, as we say. Just give us a moment…” he began.

Thomas was a nice man. A docile, polite, quiet, if not slightly mild man when you talked to him. He wouldn’t…beat you. He didn't seem the type. hen again, you remembered a phrase you heard once. It was always the ones you would never suspect. You bit back your bile. Your legs were shaking so badly, you wondered if you were standing.

“Here, Y/N…come with me…” he directed.

You had no choice but to follow as he led you by pulling you with him. His touch felt like a grip this time. You were shaking. Then he led you out. Out of that building. The guards nodded and let him. Out into the cool night air with the crickets and stars. You could still smell the sea too. It would usually be comforting. But this was not usual. You saw his muscles and big hands- he could overtake you in a fight. A blow from his fists would hurt. He could easily overpower you. You should have known. You should have known he was Roper's friend. And friends meant one's future-your sister's future. Yours.

He had a smaller cottage near the property. He took you right inside into the front foyer- a little hall with a kitchenette right there. Then he locked the door and looked at you. His jaw tight. Then he took a step forward. You squeezed your eyes shut and braced yourself.

“Just get it over with, quick!” you insisted.

“Y/N…you're safe here. They would have pressured me to hit you. But I'm not. Not here or anywhere. I’m not going to hurt you…” he said.

You opened your eyes. Your shoulders relaxed though your heart was still racing. He went up to you.

“Thomas, what are you talking about?” you hissed.

He leaned in close. His voice was just a whisper.

“You don’t have to call me Thomas here…you can call me Jonathan.”

“What…you have another name?” you asked, your mind reeling with every word he said.

“Yes-Jonathan Pine.”

[readwing]

One interesting part of the discourse surrounding family-coding relationships in media is when people who are against it raise the argument that two characters ‘can’t be sibling-coded because their relationship is more complicated than that.’ As if siblings relationships by nature were an uncomplicated thing

[boosbabycakes28]

Fly Me To Places I’ve Never Been

Parings: Harry/Louis, Zayn/Liam

Rating: strangers to lovers, fake/pretend relationship, fluff, meet-cute

Length: 47k

Written: for the @bottomlouisficfest

Summary:

The plane is finally stabilized in the air, unfortunately Louis’ stress isn’t, anxiety and panic bubbling inside of him. All he can think about is how he is going to survive the longest flight of his life. He puts his airpods in, starts whatever playlist he prepared for the flight on shuffle while he is still embarrassingly hyperventilating. He closes his eyes, clutching onto his hoodie like his life depends on it when he feels a finger gently poking at his shoulder. He opens his eyes, taking one of his airpods off to hear a deep whisper, “Are you- Are you alright?” The voice is laced with worry. “You’re kind of scaring me. Are you afraid of flights?”

The stranger seems genuinely concerned and it makes Louis want to cry even more. He doesn’t reply, simply shakes his head and thinks for a moment. Nothing can really get any worse at the moment so he grabs his phone from his lap, opens his note app and types, ‘MY EX IS SITTING BEHIND US WITH HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND’ .

or

The one where Louis’ ex ends up sitting right behind him with his new girlfriend on his flight back to Los Angeles, and the beautiful stranger next to him has an unexpected idea to help him get through the next five hours.

[mellosdrawings]

OOOOOO CAN I ASK HOW WOULD THE N2 SQUAD REACT TO EACH OF THEM DYING?

What have you unleashed?

(WARNING: Angst, allusions to death, all that fun stuff. Nothing graphic tho, don't worry)

Jamil

He shouldn’t be surprised.

Well… He isn't surprised. Jamil Viper doesn't get nice things. Not for more than a few months, anyway.

Every once in a while, life takes pity on him and throws some nice, agreeable news his way. Just enough so that he lets his guard down. Just enough so that he allows himself to think maybe things will get better. Just enough so that he can pretend he isn't chained to a fate he will never escape.

A letter to NRC, a plan that goes a little too well, a couple of upperclassmen who seem to genuinely love him for who he is and not who he pretends to be.

So of course it doesn't last. Life gives and life takes.

Kalim follows, Octavinelle gets involved, Leona and Vil-

Well…

He isn't surprised.

Jamil Viper doesn't get nice things.

Vil

They look at him like they expect something from him. Horror, anger, ugly tears maybe. Just a reaction. Anything. Anything at all.

Vil doesn't give them that. Doesn't give them an opportunity to pity him. Doesn't give them food for gossip. Doesn't give them any material to make this topic last for any longer than it has to.

He knows how it works. Someone snaps a pic of him at his lowest, someone records his voice breaking during an interview, someone catches his lips tremble for but a second, and everybody will start talking about it again. And again. And again. For as long as there is a reaction from him. For as long as the topic attracts views.

Suffering brings more views than success.

So Vil doesn't react. Doesn't say a thing. Doesn't acknowledge the topic.

Better to be a cold asshole for a few weeks than to hear about it for years.

And in the darkness of his own room, where there is no camera, no eyes, and no ears to witness his grief-

Vil cries himself to sleep.

Leona

It’s just sand.

Only sand.

For miles and miles, further than the eye can see, nothing but sand.

Ruggie had the clever foresight to send all of Savanaclaw packing when Leona got the news. They would be sand too otherwise.

Who cares.

Who fucking cares.

He could turn the whole world to sand and it wouldn't be enough.

He might as well turn his own heart into sand.

It would hurt less.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hellooo 👋🏼 I love your blog! I’ve always came to it whenever I’m looking for a new fic to read. But I am currently looking for a lost fic. I read it more than 5 years ago on ao3. I’m pretty sure it was one of the first docs I ever read of Sterek. I don’t think anything of the hale fire ended up happening. But, stiles and Scott are roommates and they live in the apartment next to Derek and Laura. They all know each other and hang out, stiles and Scott know Laura and Derek are werewolves as well (I’m not sure if Scott was one). But you don’t really see anyone else, it’s just these four. Stiles ends up going to an antique shop and finds these little wooden wolf figurines and takes them home. After that he essentially has powers being caused from them. And everytime him and Derek do anything like touching or kissing it makes stuff float around them and I know in one scene there in a bar and they start kissing and it makes the lights explode. Towards the end of the fic stiles ends up feeling like the wolf figures forced Derek to want to be with him. But Derek confirms that no they did not and he indeed had the feelings to begin with. Thats all i remember. I’ve been searching certain tags with filters but to no avail. Thanks for any help 😊

This is one of my faves.

Gravity's Got Nothing on You by zosofi

(11/11 I 83,979 I Explicit I Sterek)

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…

“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Big Name Feelings

FANDOM AU! • Crowley is a BNF fic writer, and Aziraphale is a lurking artist who might be just a little parasocially in love with him. How they ever became friends is beyond him, but here they are: One month out from Prophet Con, and Crowley is asking him to be his boyfriend. Just for the weekend, of course.

Length: 103,997 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥

Best for: Safe in Public, Human AU, Slow Burn, Fake Relationship, Pick-me-up

Triggers: None

Read it here, fic by ghostrat

*Minor Spoilers* It's here! The finale of one of the most entertaining and immersive fanworks that I have ever experienced is finally upon us! I feel like most of you who follow me here are aware of this fanfic or have read it. However, for those who haven't or might come across this post later: I'm begging you to read this one. Buckle up; it's a long post today.

So, if you're not aware, this fanfic involves writer Crowley and fan artist Aziraphale. Crowley, being ace, seeks a boyfriend to shield him from unwanted attention during an upcoming convention. Aziraphale, smitten, agrees to be the fake boyfriend. This Arrangement is sure to work out exactly as planned!

Every one of the author's stories feels cinematic to me. The worlds are always so real and immersive, but this one, in particular, will have you feeling like you're actually watching the story unfold in real life. Some of that is achieved through embedded media like chats, artwork, and Tumblr posts, bringing a sense of reality to these conversations. The rest comes from really rich prose. You'll flow through it very easily, yet deeply.

The use of fandom and a convention as the backdrop for this fic was, to be honest, genius. I've seen attempts before, but none captured the spirit quite like this one. The fandom lore for The Nice and Accurate Prophecy (the in-universe fandom they're in) was rich enough for us to fully grasp the shape and feel of why they loved it so much, yet it never impedes the ongoing story. This story perfectly captured what it's like to be a fan: how friendships develop, how ideas and fan theories are freely discussed, the passion for a shared topic. The con, in particular, will fill anyone who has ever attended a fan convention with a strong dose of nostalgia and love. Oh, and having them in their 50s? Thank you! There is no age limit to fandom!

Having Aziraphale as the artist and Crowley the writer was not the most obvious choice, but it's one that worked amazingly well for the story! Crowley struggles with words and expressing his feelings in real life. However, in stories, he can build his own world and express whatever emotions are on his mind. Aziraphale, who does not wish to draw attention to himself in real life, expresses himself through his bold and beautiful artwork. His specialization in traditional, physical artwork is so fitting for him, though he's not unwilling to try new tech. There is a scene where they stumble upon some street art that Aziraphale had done. I teared up at that scene, and it's not even angsty! Just the casualness of it, how it's not Aziraphale but Crowley who boldly leads them to it, how Aziraphale doesn't sing his own praises. He's not self-deprecating, but he doesn't celebrate his work. He's still learning that he has value that's worth celebrating. At least now he has Crowley to teach him to be proud of himself.

They are both beautifully written characters. It's a real testament to the skill of the author to bring these characters into such a different reality and have them be unmistakably Aziraphale and Crowley. Sure, they're updated for the time and setting, but their souls are still the angel and demon we know and love. This setting is an amazing way to explore the different sides of their personalities. Crowley's asexuality, in particular, was one of the best depictions I've ever read. It brought a new level of understanding to me, and I'm sure many of you will feel a kinship with him. Really pay attention to what's being said here, there's some really deep and insightful passages that are worth analyzing. Like this moment, which may have been a subconscious thought, but again speaks to how deeply the author understands the characters.

This was such an amazing experience as a fan. I've never had a fic feel like this much of an event before. Every chapter drop was so exciting; I never knew what exactly to expect. And now, with the end being over 100k words?? Where did that word count come from! That's insane! I'm sad to leave this iteration, but I'm so excited for what's to come next. So please, if you haven't read this, give it a try. It's such a impressive work, so much time and effort was put into this and you can tell. It's not only a love letter to Good Omens, but one to fandom and fanspaces as well. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this journey

There are some explicit scenes towards the end, but they are all marked and skippable, so I'd say you're perfectly fine reading this in public.

Edit from after actually seeing the finale: no I’m not tearing up it’s just really dusty in this room. I’m being so normal rn 🥹🥹🥹

Read it here, fic by ghostrat

[wangxianficfinder]

Fake/Pretend Relationship

~*~

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition,Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer) translations available in multiple languages

with you, I am home by tellthemstories (M, 47k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, fake dating for reasons, Meeting the Family, There Was Only One Bed, Casual Domesticity, wwx is oblivious in more ways than one, 'this fic is like emotional edging’, this comment sums up the entire fic)

The Mistletoe Virgin by Vamillepudding (G, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, Romantic Comedy, Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Deaf LWH, Christmas)

Out of the Bin and Into Your Heart by Alaceron (T, 27k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fake/Pretend relationship, Oblivious WWX)

❤️ save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae (E, 33k, wangxian, modern w magic, college/university au, fake/pretend relationship, single parent WWX, homophobia, light angst w/ happy ending, idiots to lovers, fluff)

Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl (E, 60k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Modern, JC mooning over WQ, getting wrecked sexually, WWX's single brain cell, Practice Kissing)

caught in the sugar by occultings (microcomets) (E, 13k, WangXian, Modern, Fake/Pretend Relationship, fake FWB, Workplace Retreats, Drinking Games, Humor, some blink-and-miss-it wwx-flavored comphet during the sex scene, LWJ dicking WWX down so hard he sees shrimp colors, as per usual, the hero’s journey to answer the call of being a bottom, Barebacking, First Time)

Close to the Truth by Winglesss (M, 14k, WangXian, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, Romantic Comedy, Modern, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Tooth-Rotting Fluff)

we don't need to talk about it by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 48k, WangXian, Modern, Fake Dating, the slimmest of premises, there was only one bedroom, There Was Only One Bed, kissing to prove you're dating, being idiots to prove you're dating, they're idiots your honor, Pining while fucking)

like a magpie and a ring by martyrsdaughter (E, 14k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, Case Fic, Ghosts, Horror, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Tenderness, Feelings Realization, Demonic Cultivation, Lust Potion/Spell, the wangxian "he can't stand me" to "let's get married" speedrun, Riding, Come as Lube, Dom/sub Undertones, Dubious Consent, of the undernegotiated cnc variety, Face-Sitting, Dry Humping, Creampie, Marathon Sex)

The Epic Lie of the Yiling Laozu and His Wife by JaenysBloodcourt (T, 9k, WangXian, WWX/WQ, JGY/NMJ, WWX & WQ pretend A-Yuan is theirs, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fake Marriage, Misunderstandings, Lies, Jealousy, A really tiny bit of jealous LWJ and JC, Assisted reproduction (mentions of insemination with talismans and other things), Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied Mpreg if you squint at the end, or it could a surrogate baby, or a breastfeeding talisman, yiling wei, WWX Has a New Golden Core, More like a red core, BAMF WWX, Canon Divergence, dialogue heavy in some parts, A little angst, Switch LWJ)

Symmetry by Vir_Abelasan (M, 13k, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, One-Sided JC/WWX, One-Sided JC/LSZ, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Canon Divergence, LSZ is raised by WWX, WWX still dies sorry, Revenge, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dark LSZ, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Torture, Not JC Friendly, JC's Canonical 13 Years Murder Spree, BAMF LSZ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LSZ Gets to Go Apeshit)

Plus One by nirejseki (G, 2k, WangXian, NHS & WWX, WIP, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Canon Divergence, Scheming)

🔒 the tragic and entirely true story of the romance between the yiling patriarch and his wife, most renowned doctor of her generation by ravenditefairylights (T, 18k, WangXian, WWX & WQ, LSZ & WWX, Major Character Death, Non-Linear Narrative, Post-Canon, but also during canon, Character Study, Canon Temporary Character Death, excessive use of personal headcanons, Baby LSZ, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Oblivious WWX, Rumors, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Heteronormativity, Fake Marriage, Chronic Pain, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining)

雙喜臨門: double happiness at your door by besanii (T, 57k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Fox Prince WWX, Dragon Prince LWJ, Immortals, Xianxia, Romance, Developing Relationship, Three Lives Three Worlds AU, Love Confessions, Oblivious, Weddings)

~*~

[sandinthepipes]

I know Tumblr will not let me down.

Give me your favourite destiel fic

[chisfics]

Daniel looking at Johnny the same way he looked at him when Johnny fucked him against a wall last night

[idkstuffiguess]

I need one good chiscara fic where childe doesn’t recognize scara no deja vu no nothing

There’s just this one hot inzauman academic who knows why too much abt him he just wanted to flirt why tf does this guy know about his family

[starchaserdreams]

My fics on AO3

Alright, so I deleted my AO3 account a few months ago (thinking I was done with this) and orphaned all of my works. Well, now I deeply regret that. But I have collected as many of them as I could find here for anyone who's interested.

Jegulus/Starchaser

Temptation Eyes (Now Complete!) - My Jegulus Regency AU. Completed, being posted one chapter twice a week. James enters the London season hoping to find a wife. What he finds instead is Regulus Black, and he never looks back. But as implied by the era, it won't be easy for them. Background wolfstar, shown as a different approach to a queer relationship in the regency era.

Get Regulus Out - 82k, Rated M, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Working Through Trauma, No War/Riddle AU, background Wolfstar, background Marylily. James tries to convince Regulus to leave Grimmauld Place as Sirius once did, and save himself from his parents.

How to Spot Signs of Jealousy - 4k, fake/pretend relationship, mutual pining, miscommunication. After Regulus gets fed up with people asking him out because of his family name, he and Barty agree to fake date. For some reason, James Potter seems livid...and Regulus can only guess that it's because he's homophobic. That's got to be it, right?

But Where's Regulus - 1k. James on laughing gas after getting his wisdom teeth taken out and talking about how much he likes Regulus

Waking Up Slowly - 2k. James wakes up in bed with Regulus in the Gryffindor dorm, something Sirius might not take kindly to.

I've Read Your Book - 1k. Two one shots based on the same premise: Writer!James didn't even know Regulus knew about his book, let alone had read it, but Regulus comes up to him and says "I've read your book" aka the most exciting words of all time to start a conversation for a writer.

Little Ball of Fire - 1k. Regulus gets into an argument with Snape. Regulus begins threatening him, so James picks Regulus up and carries/drags him out of the room before anyone gets hurt.

Prongsfoot/Bambibelle

What's in a Name - 5k, Soulmates AU, secret crush. In a world where soulmates exist and can identify each other by the feeling they get when they say each other's names, it's pretty easy to identify who your soulmate is. But for Sirius and James who only call each other by their nicknames, it takes a while to finally know.

The Bachelorette - 15k, mutual pining, Bachelorette AU. Sirius and James are both cast as contestants on the Bachelorette. Although their stated goal was to woo Lily and capture her heart, they don’t quite manage it. They fall for each other instead.

A Real Marriage Under Wizarding Law - 6k, mutual pining, fake/pretend relationship, drunken shenanigans. Sirius and James get a quickie drunken marriage in Knockturn Alley. When they wake up in the morning, they decide not to get it annulled so that they can save Sirius from an arranged marriage.

The Only Transfer Students to Ever Come to Hogwarts - 9k, arranged marriage, hijinx, angst with a happy ending. Sirius is upset to learn that not only does he have to transfer to a new school, but his parents have set up an arranged marriage for him. James assures him that's impossible, but Sirius knows his parents don't make empty threats. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)

The Smell of Water - 4k, Amortentia, idiots in love. Sirius and James argue about what they're smelling without realizing that there's Amortentia in the room. When Sirius realizes, he becomes a whole mess about it. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)

Wolfstar

Wolfstar Microfics Theme: Love - 8k, a collection of 22 microfics themed around love

6x James Found Out, and 1x Harry Did - 10k. Six ways James could have learned about Sirius and Remus' secret relationship, and one way Harry could have learned about it. *This is specifically ATYD fanfiction, and it's set in that universe.

[smolvenger]

How To Fake Date A Spy (Jonathan Pine x fem! Reader). Part 1

Summary: When you joined your sister, Jed, for a lovely summer in Spain, you wanted to enjoy yourself. Instead, you have to deal with numerous men of Roper's business having a gross interest in you for more than small talk. Going to Roper for help, he offers an idea- pretending to be the date of his newest friend. A handsome sous-chef known as Thomas Quince. Little do you know yet, the man's real name is Jonathan Pine and he is on a mission to take Roper down...

Word Count:5K

Chapter Warnings: Sexual harassment (not our boy, Pine). Discussions of suicidal intentions- if you or a loved one have thoughts, please please PLEASE reach out, call a hotline, tell someone you need help, and get help right away and this I hope is portrayed well and healthy and hopeful in this chapter. Some Fix-It-Fic-ness (Poor Elena deserved better. Hmmm, interesting of Le Carre to have the not-white female characters killed off to further the male characters' storylines. Guess what? We're fixing that crap. At least for Elena). Mentions of murder and domestic abuse. Reader being thirsty, but no actual smut.

Comments, reblogs, dms, and asks about my work are always appreciated!

A/N: You can decide if you’re a sister by adoption or by birth and I want to leave that open ended in the fic to make this an inclusive x reader fic. Shout out to @evelyn-kingsley for suggesting this idea in the first place! This fic wouldn't exist without you! :)

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over ) @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @muddyorbsblr

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

You screamed as the robber grabbed the boy and pulled out a gun to the child’s forehead.

“Nobody move! Nobody move!” the robber yelled.

There were more screams behind you and as people shot up, you heard plates clatter on the floor. Your heart was racing a mile a minute. It seemed all was well one minute- enjoying a seaside restaurant with your sister and some friends. Paid by the man she was in an arrangement with- Roper. Drinking wine and dancing and laughing. Little Danny playing games on his dad’s phone. A phone with worldwide secrets that also conveniently housed Candy Crush.  

 Then like a flip of a coin, a robber grabbed Danny and pulled him over to sit on a chair, moving the gun between pointing at the boy or your party. Danny’s sobs mirrored the screams you heard rabbits made. Sounds when the creatures thought they were going to die.

Roper-with an eerie calm-spoke to the robber. Offering the robber anything he wanted.

“Jewelry! Wallets!” the robber demanded.

With shaking hands, you took off the earrings. Your sister bought them for you on a shopping trip last week.  Being mistress to Roper, Jed could afford to spoil you with gifts however she wanted. You then removed your ring and your necklace. It was harder with the shaking, but you dropped them in. You saw Jed doing the same next to you, her jaw quivering. Then you took your wallet and all of you put your items in a bowl. Everyone did- an offering to an angry god demanding a sacrifice.

“That’s shit! Where’s the real money? Where’s the rest?” the robber asked, waving the gun at each of you.

Roper promised him 10 thousand dollars in fifteen minutes. As long as Danny was returned. The robber began to back away, still holding Danny.

“We’ll take the boy! Until we have the money! Everyone on the ground!” he threatened.

Jed offered herself in exchange. Out of gut instinct you pulled at her arm, tears in your eyes. Bringing her back.

The Robber pointed the gun at each of you and your body shot, seeing your imminent death in its Barrell. There was silence from all of you- the about-to-be-dead.

“On the ground or I’ll shoot!” he yelled.

All of you went to the ground.  You kept sobbing and so did Jed, your legs still quivering as you laid down. The robber ran off, carrying Danny. The boy’s screams could have cut you in two. You sat on the ground. The party crawled back up.

From out there, you heard yelling and a commotion. Then the screaming stopped. But there was no gunshot.

All of you ran down the steps to the stairway to enter the place. There was no robber- and Danny was safe. Danny scrambled back into his father’s arms, hugging him and crying. Even Jed leaned down to touch his arm. You had to cup your face, crying tears of relief this time. But your eyes wandered to someone else.

On the ground near him was a man in a chef’s suit, groaning in pain. His face so bloodied and hurt he was unrecognizable.

“What happened-what happened?” Jed asked.

“They ran off…he scared them…he saved me…” Danny explained.

The staff said the rescuer was a sous chef from England. Corky began examining the hero of the hour, still groaning from his broken nose and pain. Roper examined him, his blue eyes turning into a hawk gaze. Jed wrapped her long arms around Danny and let the boy cry his tears into her. You comforted him by running a hair through his head.

It was decided. They couldn’t let their hero bleed to death. He was coming with you.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

You hardly saw the sous chef after he moved in. Not that you had time to. You had another party of Roper’s he was hosting. And it meant dealing with your least favorite thing- men. Specifically- Roper’s men.

The party itself would be okay. You were glad you kept a small book in your clutch. Your phone batter was down to 10 percent and Danny was standing by his dad. But many of the men would gather around you. Or introduce themselves. Drunk on money and power, they believed they could do everything. Like having access to you when you didn’t like them.

One fucker-you didn’t remember his name and he didn’t deserve it-approached you as you began to sip your flute of champagne. Already you could smell how he reeked of cologne to where it stank. He leaned in closer than you liked.

“Hey there-Y/N, isn’t it? You’re looking nice today?”

“Thanks.” You said curtly.

He smirked.

“I just like what I see….would you like a drink?”

“I have one, no thanks,” you said.

His eye wandered to the book sticking out of your clutch.

“Ah-What are you reading?” he asked.

“A book,” you answered.

“Hmmm…what kind of book.”

“It’s a…a…a romance book,” you answered honestly. Maybe he would be disappointed in your interest of “fluff for women” and turn around.

 “A romance book. You like that stuff?” he asked.

Already there was that hint of putting down. Slight dislike. Condescension. You took it and ran. You gave him a frown.

“Yes, I do,” you said, going around.

Then at dinner, you could feel their eyes on you. One guy- Mr. Jacobson- was enjoying his time sitting next to you a little too much. He was tall and barrel chested with a dark beard and dark hair, manspreading on his seat. You squeezed your knees tight together so they wouldn’t brush his pants. But his leaning in gave you less space to flee.

“Well-everyone has a type for someone! A type they fall for!” Caro Langbourne began, just for casual conversation.

But Mr. Jacobson turned to you with a greedy smile. You could feel the eyes on you.

“Hmmm, means you got a type, Y/N? Like us big, hairy guys?!?”

You turned next to him.

“No.”

It was quiet and the conversation went on, but he kept talking to you. More than you wanted to. There was one guy. He was closer to your age. And he wasn’t bad looking at all, not to you. But as he turned to you during dessert, having innocent talk, just in a corner alone, he suddenly, out of nowhere, asked.

“So-When will you let me stuff it in your mouth?”

You nearly dropped the plate in shock. You blinked, processing that he said what he said.

“What did you say to me?” you asked in a hiss.

He put his hands in his pockets and repeated it.

“When will you let me stuff it in your mouth. You’ve had dessert, you can take it.”

You felt like you could get sick with disgust.

“Forget it. Don’t’ you say that to me- leave me alone!” You pushed off and walked away, heels clicking furiously from the party.

You found yourself, once alone, crying a little. You wiped it off in the bathroom, redoing your makeup with a frown on your face. Why did every gathering have to be like this? The stares. The smiles. The comments- it was too much.

You were so sick of them. All these guys hitting on you like they were entitled to you. You really were sick of it. In their bright smiles and uniforms but with such disgusting words spewing from their smiling mouths.

All this finery- nice dinners. Beautiful places. Numerous Shopping splurges with your sister. Trips to every country. Restaurants and clothes that would cost ordinary people a fortune. But the price- to be harassed daily by these dicks at every event and more. It was exhausting. Hell, the way Caro’s husband sometimes leered at you made you feel sick to your stomach. And the man brought his kids!

Besides, you didn’t even want to be in a relationship. How could you trust them-trust anyone? There were lots of hot guys out there who seemed perfectly nice. But they only seemed that way. Was it worth being abused- be it with a man beating you, or saying something cruel, or worse? Or being cheated on-giving all your heart and love to a guy only for him to find someone hotter, better, and to betray you because you were not good enough? Or the pain, the drama, the hurt of trust, the heartache? No, there was no one out there who was worth it. You didn’t want to fall in love, you didn’t want to get hurt. Even Jed and Roper were just a business arrangement. Despite the smiles and PDA, it was no different than Corky’s agreement. A loveless job.

You had to call it a night.

But as you were walking, you passed by a door. You remembered it-it was where the heroic sous-chef was staying in that room.  You hadn’t been in it. You hadn’t even seen him since then-only once as they were tending to him with bandages and towels over his bleeding face when he was helped in here.

You had to go in and visit. That was a better end to the night. This was Danny’s savior, after all. You had to let him know how grateful you were. You knocked on the door.

“Come in,” a bright, baritone voice. English accent. Proper. Refined. Elegant, even.  

You opened the door a little, and took a first step in.

“Hello the-“

Your voice stopped as did your steps. You almost did not recognize him. There wasn’t blood all over his face. Only a bruise over his eye and a bandage over his nose.

But even so, he was one of the handsomest men you had ever laid eyes on.

His eyes were blue, and his hair was an in between of dirty blonde and red. He had cheekbones that could cut glass and the shirt covered his broad chest, slim waist, and bulging biceps. You felt the wind knock out of you, the words hanging in the air, until you regained yourself. You took another step in and continued.

“Hello there-just me…”

He turned up.

“You weren’t interrupting anything.”

You began to grab your arm. He was so attractive you wanted to shy away-flee away like Snow White from the Prince. But you forced yourself there.

“I don’t think we’ve introduced each other since…since that night. I’m Y/N. Jed’s sister. I help look after Danny.”

He looked up, eyes meeting yours.

“I just wanted to…to…thank you. For what you did.”

He gave you a smile.

“You’re welcome. What’s your name?”

You gave him your name.

“Lovely. I’m Thomas-Thomas Quince.”

“Do you need anything?”

“No- I’m fine for now.”

“Let us know, okay Thomas?”

“I will, Y/N.”

You could have come at how he said your name, but you held yourself together.

“Okay, have a good night, Thomas.”

“You too, Y/N.”

 Then you closed the door. But you realized you were still smiling, feeling very warm and tingly. Without question, this was a better ending to the night.

There was going to be another of Roper’s male colleagues coming over to stay with you. But he didn’t have a history of saying gross things to you. Not even with his wife, Lucia, and kid traveling with him. Juan or “Apo” was joining you with his wife and their teenage daughter, Elena.

Their car arrived the next day. You were squinting from the Spanish sun. Roper smiled as all of you waited just outside the penthouse when the driver opened the door. Out popped Apo, Lucia, and Elena. The group was all smiles and handshakes and hugs with Roper.

That is, except Elena. Her eyes were big, and she wore a shining, diamond necklace over her Chanel dress, but she didn’t smile. She was slumped as she stood. When Roper hugged her in greeting, she froze, only patting his back stiffly out of politeness. She seemed to shrink within herself. Even when Danny went up and said hi, showing off his new book about ocean creatures, she only nodded in response.

Roper put his hands on his hips, keeping a toothy grin at her.

“Ah! Well-I bet you’re sick of annoying little boys already, Elena! But don’t worry-you’re a big girl now! And you can join the big girls-like Y/N, here!” he said, with a grand sweep towards you.

As housekeepers hauled their luggage inside, Elena turned to her dad.

“Papi…can I go walk, please? I’d like to explore the city,” she asked.

Apo turned to her, reeling off praise to her.

“Oh! My little girl! Already so adventurous! Here-don’t go alone. Have this…this…Y/N! Walk with my Elena, will you?” he offered.

“Oh, sure thing!” you replied.

Though you hadn’t really talked to her, it would be a nice change from staying by the house all day. And she looked like she could get out. Something was up and her father was oblivious to it.

Both of you walked about. It was the late afternoon melting into the early evening. You walked through tall buildings with laundry wires across the streets over your heads. They sloped down the hill as people walked about. Though the sun was still bright, there were more shadows across the town.

“How was traveling?” you asked.

“Okay… great even,” Elena answered.

Then there were the sounds of bells chiming the hour. You noticed a palm tree and a few restaurants.

“Are you hungry? There’s a stand for some street food. My treat.” you offered.

“I’m fine,” Elena replied.

She gestured to her necklace.

"Would you like to have this?" she asked. She dangled it in her hand, not caring if some bold pickpocket eyed it.

"Uh, no thanks-but thanks for offering!" you replied.

She turned skittishly around. Her head full of long, black hair moving with her. You paused.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

She turned to you and this time; she didn’t answer the question.

“There’s a cathedral here…I know it’s the next block over-can we go?” she asked.

“Sure thing!”

It then struck you that you were going about without guards. If she noticed a pickpocket or a stalker, you were the only one guarding her. But you walked over to where the bells chimed to enter the large cathedral.

Walking over with her, you turned and walked inside. It was infinitely cooler in the cathedral than outside. You were used to air conditioning, so the summer trips had been brutal here. You let out a sigh of releif. You did admire the elaborate paintings and design of the cathedral- its dome over your head, the numerous statuettes of saints, the golden crucifixes. And all in a building that was older than America! They definitely didn’t make most churches as pretty as this back home! Tourists wandered to snap pictures. Locals were in the pew, praying. Elena walked forward, her feet turning into stumbling. You saw she was shaking all over-as if her strength was sapping out of her. She gripped onto the pew, sitting down. Then she knelt and gripped her hands in prayer.

You went down and joined her.

“What is it, Elena?” you asked. You made sure to keep your voice low. The place made a lot of echoes from the high ceilings.

“Nothing.”

“You don’t have to lie to me. Something is up. You’re upset. Your dad is blind to it. But he isn’t here- you can tell me. Anything.”

She looked around again. Checking each person around her. Then she turned to you.

“Is no one watching us?” she asked.

“No. No one is. Not even Corky and he creeps around everywhere. Just you and me. I don’t care how messed up it is- I won’t judge.”

She began to blink tears, and then leaned her head down, beginning to cry.

“Elena…did something happen?” you asked.

She began to blubber out.

“I’m…so grateful for cathedrals. They’re peaceful. They’re quiet. Anyone can have sanctuary there….”

She turned to you.

“Sanctuary? From what? Are you in danger? Is someone threatening you?” you prodded.

“I want...I want…I want the pain to stop…I’m a burden to everyone…I’m the reason people are dead…” she confessed.

“What do you mean?” you gasped. You immediately grabbed her hand. You had an idea and it chilled you, but you asked it.

“Are you…thinking of ending your own life?”

“Yes.”

A sick, horrible feeling swept through you. Chills, dread, terror. But you prodded further. No matter how uncomfortable, it was the right thing to keep talking to her.

“Do you have a plan how?”

“Hang myself. And I was going to do it on my birthday party. Snuck out the party to my room. They wouldn’t care- it’s like it’d be better without me. Too busy congratulating each other and being fancy. I would do it- Hang myself right there…”

“Elena….oh my god…oh god….” You muttered in shock, your hand never leaving hers.

“Elena…thank you for telling me. I know things always seem bleak- it’s hard to realize that there are options out there when you feel that way…”

“Options? I was born into this family! I didn’t choose it!”

She turned to you; her voice lower. So, no one could overhear.

 You know what my dad does? He defends Roper. We’re rich. Because of Roper…Roper and his…his-his-his…acts!”

“Acts?” you repeated.

You knew Roper was head of Ironclast. That the immense money didn’t come from nowhere. But you had to find out further. She turned to you, her eyes brimming, tears falling.

“Dad’s rich protecting him. So, Roper can’t ever be caught. Roper sells bombs. And you know what he does? Drops them on villages- his own personal bombs. He treats people like toys. Cities. Full of innocent people. And anyone who opposes him or his friends or tells them no? They die. That’s why I’m even here-innocent people who are dead!”

She let in a shaky breath.

“Do you know…do you know Freddie Hamid? Did he ever appear here at Roper’s party?” she asked.

“No, I don’t. He never showed up.”

“He’s a friend of Roper’s. He’d appear with Papi and at the parties…. Freddie beats up women. And he’s a murderer.”

“A murderer?!” you hissed quietly.

Elena nodded.

“He had -a mistress. Sophie. I met her every time she came over. She…was nice. She let me pet her dog. She’d talk to me like no one ever did- like I wasn’t a princess. Like I was a person. I wanted to…to…to be like her. And there’d be bruises. On her arms. On her face. She’d say she’d fall. But it was clear-I knew it was Freddie. I knew it! But no one would believe me.  And do you know what happened to her? Sophie was Found murdered in her hotel!”

You felt a horrified chill over your body as you spoke “And Freddie or Roper killed her?”

“At least sent their men to do the job. She must have stepped out of line. That’s what happens here-you step out of line. You’re dead. I was dead anyway…and you know what-she’s just one of many.”

You swallowed. Part of your stomach got sick. But you kept listening. You put your other hand on hers.

“I was dead anyway. I thought it’d be better…die rather than get killed. Then…I left the party and ran to a cathedral instead…”

You realized there were tears in your eyes too.

“I’m glad you did, I’m glad you did, Elena…I’m glad you’re here…talking to me…”

She released one hand of hers, touching her necklace.

“You see this shit necklace? I see it and just see more dead Sophie’s-dead people! Papi says it’s the most expensive necklace in the world! And it was paid for with blood money!”

She gripped it like she could rip the necklace to shreds. But she couldn’t-her nails dug into her skin. She looked at you right in the eyes.

“Roper…he is the worst man in the world…and you’ll see that…”

It all hit you-hit all at once. You knew she was telling the truth. There was no matter of denying it. The more you thought about it, the more it made sense.

“You’re right…he is…he’s got my sister in his clutches. She was desperate. She was broke. And she…she has a baby. Mom hates her. Roper gave her an opportunity. Now she’s chained to him. A man old enough to be our dad, too. She doesn’t have a choice to leave him now. I see how unhappy she is on the inside…he is the worst man in the world. “

You smoothed her hair so you could see her face.

“I’m concerned Elena…because I care about you. I’m going to support you- however I can…” you promised.

You took her and hugged her. She let herself cry-relieved. You cried too, for her. For your sister. For yourself. For everything. You held onto her, keeping on shaking. Waiting until she was ready and let go. She turned around, seeing the crowds.

“Could we…could we walk around?” Elena asked.

“Yes…we can stay here as long as you need. I don’t have anywhere else I need to be.”

“But dinner…”

“If you don’t want to eat with Roper, we can get our own dinner,” you said.

She walked about. Elena did go to the confession booth. It wasn’t therapy but it was something. Talking in a private space with someone sworn to secrecy. Elena did talk to plenty of other people. Just talk- nothing more. Not about her emotions. She spoke to an old woman, a priest lighting a candle, and a tourist lady with a pregnant belly. It was probably good to give her space and not overhear when she did. But you never kept her out of your eyesight.

When she finished talking, you got her hands as she sat in the pew again turned to her.

“Elena…when we’re done, I’m buying you a sangria, and tapas, and ice cream. And when we get home, you’re not staying by yourself-you’re with me now. I’m staying by you-“

Elena raised her eyebrows.

“And you don’t have to pretend. You can be with me. I’ll keep you safe. You’re not going to be alone-and you’re going to live.”

You grabbed her shoulders and her eyes became big.

“You’re going to live! And if you even think about doing it-tell me! And we’ll get out of there and do something! We’ll go swimming in the ocean naked! Stuff our faces at some restaurant! Stay at this cathedral! Get fucking plastered and sing karaoke!”

“I don’t…don’t want to live off of blood money…I don’t want to live as some spoiled pet from other’s deaths!”

“But you will live…they keep saying you’re a big girl…and you’re going to have a life without living off of Roper. I could…could…could help you escape.”

“Escape?” she gasped.

“That’s the most expensive necklace in the world. That alone could buy you rent for an apartment of your own. Long enough until you get a job. And you can stop living off money used to kill people! A life all on your own! And…have you thought of getting help? Professional help? I’ll seek it out.”

“No…didn’t consider getting a therapist…but you can’t tell my parents why…”

“I will tell them you need help-that you need a counselor. And you can tell me anything! I’ll sneak you out however I can!”

She blinked. And then, slowly, she smiled. A small, present smile. The first smile you saw on her face.

“It sounds…wonderful.”

You linked her arm in yours.

“Good…we’re friends now. Best friends. And I’m not going to let anyone get you anymore…if you think you’re rebelling, if you think you’re in danger-from Roper or Freddie or yourself…I’m going to help you.”

Indeed, the Sangria, tapas, and ice cream were delicious. You even got her to giggle a litte. Once it was dark, both of you returned back to the house.

“Could you room with me?” she asked.

“Oh, of course!”

“Y/N…Danny got rescued, didn’t he…who did it?”

“Oh- his name’s Thomas!”

“Where is he?” she asked curiously.

“Resting up from his injuries!” you answered.

“Can I meet him?”

“Yeah! Sure!”

You took her to the door to Thomas’s room.

“I got to warn you- he’s really hot, too. Took everything in me not to faint when I saw him!” you whispered.

She made a small smile. You opened the door and there was Thomas, reading a book with a finished tray of dinner on his bed.

“Hello- we have a new guest. This is Elena-Elena, meet Thomas.”

She went over and greeted him. She smiled. Though then she leaned over and whispered something in his ear. Part of you was shocked by this sudden intimacy- even boldness from this teenage girl to a grown man. Hopefully, there was nothing concerning! If the man was a pedo, you would gladly kick his ass. But there was no change in his expression.

She moved into your room.  Sleeping in the next bed. As she slept, you poured through her luggage. You got rid of all long things- scarves and whatnot-so no possible nooses. You made sure there were no guns or sharp objects or knives or dangerous medications. Though it made your stomach feel sick and shiver to think of how fragile life was. How so many random little things could end a life. It made you want to vomit and even cry- but you put them all in trash bags and threw them away.

The next two days were a simple pattern. You always stayed by Elena. She would walk out, go to the cathedral, and talk to people. A priest even gave her a blessing. She even ran into the pregnant lady again and they chatted. Then you would walk back. Now that Thomas was walking around, he was hard not to ogle. And you didn’t blame Elena for sometimes going up and talking to him! You made sure there was nothing dangerous- even if she had to go to the bathroom, you joined her. You never left Elena alone. Only if you knew someone would stay by her. You began to research counselors here to immediately get her help and signed her up for one. You told her parents she was troubled, and suicidal-they had the right to know. Just not the reason why. Once a counselor was picked, you both began to research apartments here. Once she was done with school-or even before- she would move out. A poor life made with money on her own was better than one living off of Roper’s corrupt wealth. Elena was always by you- and She didn’t mind having to be the third with Danny.

But you protected both. Yet…how could you protect yourself? There were going to be more events and parties and dinners. And Roper’s men would still leer at you.

You had to tell Roper. He was the Worst Man in the World. You knew that. But no one else could stop the harassment. Knowing Elena was safe with someone, you went up and found Roper. He was on a deck, talking to Andrew. They sat on a little table under a shaded umbrella with cold drinks. For the topic you were about to bring up, it was very pleasant. They turned to you, their low voices stopping.

“Roper- I have to talk to you. Now!” you said.

“Oh, goodie!” he replied dryly.

You stepped up to them, sitting on the extra free chair. You could feel the wind and hear the nearby ocean.

“Roper…I have this problem. Your friends, all the men keep hitting on me. Please….i just need…need some help. I need you to stop them. Really!”

After scratching his grey head, Roper put his hands in his pockets where he sat. He gave a half smile. But you noticed Thomas was still frowning, but something in his face softened.

“Well-the price paid for being a pretty lady here!” Roper laughed.

“I’m serious! It’s uncomfortable!” you prodded.

He put his hands in his pockets, but he kept smiling. He then looked at Thomas and back at you. Then his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Oh-you’re lucky. Have a look at Thomas. You see-he’s getting some business done. He’s about to have a very important job with me- joining my circle. Let’s say, a little thank-you gift. He’ll need to be seen at events-parties. Gatherings. The works. But they will think he’s no one…”

“What does that have to do with me?” you asked.

“He’s got to make an impression if he’s going to succeed.  I’m getting him a new suit. A new business card.  A new wallet….and a new woman.”

Your back straightened. Roper began grinning even bigger, like an evil Cheshire cat.

“Do you mean…mean…am I…am I…in an arrangement with Thomas? Like you and Jed?” you asked.

The shock was like an ice cube in your stomach. Even if Thomas was an attractive man, were you going to have to sleep with someone you barely knew?! In fact, this was a step above- a new man in Roper’s circle, only this time it wouldn’t be words, but actions.

“No! No arrangements! I’m not asking you to sign any marriage contract, sweetheart! Just be his date for a few events! Let them think you are his!” Roper said.

You looked over at Thomas again. His own eyes were big. His jaw was slack as if he was just as surprised as you were. And he still didn’t say a word. But he did lean forward.

“Y/N…I won’t force you to do anything…don’t be scared…” he assured you.

 But Roper went on as if congratulating himself.

“But I see. You…. tolerate each other.”

Thomas folded his arms and leaned back into his chair. You saw his adams apple lowering as he swallowed. You had no words but listened. He did keep glancing at you and you at him.

“Y/N, you’re sick of being some sort of…. forbidden fruit, shall we say? Well, when you want to keep the fruit from flies- you make sure it’s taken care of.”

He turned to the handsome rescuer.

“Thomas, you want to keep your business up and running and frankly, I don’t like to see you sit inside and brood all day. Doctor says you’re good to go about now.  So let’s kill two birds with one stone, shall we?” Roper declared.

He then took his hands and placed your on each other. For a second, it did feel like a marriage ceremony.

“Be each other’s dates when we’re in public!

Thomas tightened his jaw and leaned forward in his chair. You nearly jumped up where you sat. Roper went on.

“Tell everyone you’re a couple, now. Go to a few parties and restaurants, hold arms, and smile at each other. Maybe a kiss on the cheek, sometimes! Don’t be scared- Thomas here is a knight in shining armor and he has the libido of a monk, from what I’ve gathered. You both win- Thomas, you will be a social butterfly with a contract and influence and Y/N will keep those nasty little men from drooling at her.”

You hated that he was right. It was a sad truth. Those men wouldn’t respect your word alone. But if you were taken, they’d respect your boyfriend instead. Even a fake one.

“I can tell you- you can make up a reason to break up any time you want!” Roper then finished with a playful, short wiggle of his eyebrows.

You wanted to crawl beneath a rock. Thomas kept calm, the light in his eyes did not deny his surprise.

“Well, what’ll it be? Thomas, I think there’s a bit more freedom for you to say no. But it’s Y/N here who’s a bit more anxious, shall we say. And Y/N could use the protection!”

You looked at each other. Thomas got out another hand and put it over yours in slight protection. They were warm and soft. Already at his touch you felt…safe, for lack of a better word.

“I…I…I don’t see any pros of saying no…” you began.

Roper clapped his hands together and then rubbed them in joy.

“Well, then! We’re going to have a little cocktail reception later today! All for Apo’s family coming in! Your work starts tonight- Only me on your little secret that it’s pretend-deal?”

You glanced at each other. Thomas gave a nod.

“If Y/N’s alright with it, I am.”

“Deal,” you agreed.

“Well then, time to leave the lovebirds alone!” Roper chirruped.

 He got up and turned out with a smile, leaving you alone with Thomas. You heard seagulls cawing and the shadows of the house shifted. Thomas leaned towards you but didn’t let your hands go yet.

“I’m sorry…so sorry, I’ll make it up to you. I bet you’re furious, right now,” he said.

“I’m…I’m actually not. At least not anymore. It doesn’t sound that bad,” you replied.

“But those men-they’ve been bothering you. Keeping you unsafe- haven’t they? I can do something. They don’t have to bother you anymore…” he offered. “It’s the least I can do.”

“And now with you, they won’t.”

He gave you a smile and your insides turned again.

“It’s not that bad. Just go to a few events. Hold arms. And smiles. I bet whatever you’ve done, that’s not the hardest thing you ever had to do,” you wondered.

Thomas looked back out to the sea and your gaze followed his. He let his hands go.

“No, it’s not.”

[moonlightdistractions]

a fake/pretend Sam/Dean relationship fic rec list for @augustonly - went through my bookmarks and chose 5 + a bonus, enjoy!

ordeals verse by autoschediastic & ponderosa121 - 4 parts - ranges from hilarious to serious, with a pining!Sam. author's tags include mpreg, curses

insomnia by @laughablelament "Five times when there was only one bed, and once when there wasn’t."

the secrets you keep by @amypond45 "Sam and Dean pose as a married couple to investigate the deaths of three couples who all went to the same marriage counselor. Business as usual, nothing to see here, all the lies and denial and Dean being kind of an ass sometimes. Nothing out of the ordinary."

salt water cure by smalltroven "Set after episode 10.5 “Fan Fiction”- Sam and Dean have to be pretend boyfriends for a case which leads to many changes neither of them ever expected"

windfall for the non-believer by glovered "After Sam's first Hell flashback, he and Dean work a job that means posing as a couple in a planned community."

bonus: intertextuality by doctor_idiot - I bookmarked this with my rereads+ basically stated 'this is hot', 'still hot', 'still fucking hot'

[wangxianficrecs]

💙 Symmetry by Vir_Abelasan

💙 Symmetry

by Vir_Abelasan

M, 13k, Wangixan & Lan Sizhui

Summary: Despite what Jiang Wanyin and his Sect had done, despite everything, baba never once cursed them as they did the Yiling Patriarch's name. Mourn as baba did for Sizhui's family, for the family that had become baba's own in all but name, never once did he look upon the cultivation world in vengeance. Instead, every breath, every shred of life in baba's failing body had been dedicated to keeping Sizhui safe, fed and loved, as if the slightest speck of grudge towards the world would have tainted his own boundless love towards Sizhui. But Sizhui is alone in the world now, and he is not his baba - No one else is like baba, and Sizhui supposes that was what had sealed his father's fate, in a world where one is demanded to serve mere ideas of righteousness and honor rather than the people. And so upon seeing the purple robes amidst the crowd, Wei Sizhui decides that perhaps it would not hurt to start his path of vengeance a little closer to home. Kay's comments: This story is so beautifully written and it's my favourite dark!Sizhui story of all time. I really loved that he got to grow up with Wei Wuxian watching over him, though it was also very heart-breaking with Wei Wuxian suffering the side-effects of having destroyed the Tiger Tally and now dying slow death and I also loved the thirst for revenge that was slowly growing inside of Sizhui, absolutely marvelous execution. Sizhui's and Lan Wangji's relationship in this story is something else I also enjoyed. Not a story for Jiang Cheng fans, but also, phew, the angle this story decided to go for in regards to Wei Wuxian's and Jiang Cheng's and then Sizhui's relationship was creepy in the best way possible. Made the end even more satisfying. Excerpt: But Sizhui is all alone in the world now, and he is not his baba. No one else is like baba, and Sizhui supposes that was what had sealed his father's fate, in a world where one is demanded to serve righteousness and honor rather than the people, even if costs them the lives of innocents and loved ones. Sizhui does not blame his baba for wanting to detach them from that kind of world entirely, for wishing Sizhui a life unrestrained by everything that had torn baba's own life apart the moment he tried to do something beyond his given place. Yet again, he is not his baba. For along with the radish leaves that presses on his palm whenever he grips his sword, there is also the sunburst against his skin - Long gone but not forgotten. He had always meant to go for the Jins first, but the sight of the purple robes nudges at something inside of him. Memories of Popo's quiet gasp as a blade went through her chest, as purple flooded their humble home and Sizhui tried not to sob from his hiding place. Of baba's sad smile when Sizhui asked where the pretty purple bell he always wore was, that day he came home to the Burial Mounds with a stab wound on his stomach. Perhaps, Sizhui thinks as his eyes follow the swaying bells through the crowd, it would not hurt to start a little closer to home.

pov lan sizhui, canon divergence, wei wuxian lives, dead wei wuxian, no thirteen years of wei wuxian's death, kinda, good parent wei wuxian, single parent wei wuxian, revenge, dark lan sizhui, fake/pretend relationship, manipulation, power imbalance, torture, not jiang cheng friendly, jiang cheng's thirteen year murder spree, bamf lan sizhui, sect leader lan sizhui, lan wangji/wei wuxian get a happy ending

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(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! Just wanted to say I appreciate what you guys do, I've found some incredible fics with you.

Now, I found a fic on my dashboard and forgot to save the link, so it's basically lost forever.

The story is: Crowley works as a carpenter building some shelves in Mr. Archer's yatch (Aziraphale is married to Gabriel in this fic). An accident happens and Aziraphale loses his memories, so Crowley tells Azi that they're married and they end up living together. It's based on the movie "Overboard".

I'll be forever grateful if you help me find it <3

Hello! You're looking for...

Going Overboard by Fyre (T)

When you do a job, you expect to get paid. What you don't expect is for things to go overboard. Ineffable Overboard AU

- Mod D

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hi! First of all I just want to thank you for all the love and effort you put into this blog! I'm looking for a fic I read ages ago, I only remember that for some reason Derek and Stiles went to a hotel together (there was a congress of some stuff going on so that's why they went) and at first they act all distanced from each other but I remember they end up having sex in their hotel room😭

Hi anon! @disastermychild says it's not exactly the same but sounds like this fic.

Electricity In the Contact by ladyblahblah 

(6/6 I 27,067 I Explicit I Sterek)

In which Derek has been invited to the Greater Pacific Northwest Alpha Symposium (that's not what it's called, Stiles, stop saying that), and showing up unattached would mean an arranged marriage. When the rest of the pack objects, he agrees to let Stiles come along to pose as his mate. Derek is reasonably sure that he's not going to make it out of this weekend alive.